reflection
When I was in IB studio art back in junior year of high school my teacher asked the first page of our art journals to be a self-portrait. I proceeded to draw a giant eye, with a blurry, distorted silhouette of myself as my self-portrait.
I later discovered it wasn’t an original idea, for M.C Escher also decided to draw himself as a reflection, in one of his pieces (in his case, him holding a reflective sphere reflecting a distorted image of himself back to himself).
image copyright M.C. Escher
This led me to believe I wasn’t alone in thinking that when we draw portraits, self-portraits, or write biographies, or auto-biographies, we are merely drawing or writing our distorted perception of ourselves or others. Our perception won’t match up to the perception of others. Our perceptions during a time won’t match up to the perceptions of ourselves during another time. Also, we ourselves change with time.
It is perhaps the reason why the Lucy Grealy of Grealy’s text and the Lucy Grealy of Pachett’s text seems so different. The Grealy Grealy saw in herself wasn’t the Grealy Pachett saw.
In addition to this, the Grealy of Grealy’s text existed during a time before Pachett even knew her. Perhaps she really was a different Grealy. This was also the fear Pachett had which incited her to hurry in the writing of her tribute. She said she feared that as time went by, she would no longer be able to show Grealy as she really seemed to Pachett-- be unable to state the bad parts of her.
It is also the reason Van Gogh appears to be a completely different person in each of his portraits, and then again, a different person in Gauguin’s rendition of him.
How could I state who I was in a single image?-- I thought as I was asked to draw my self-portrait.
I decided I couldn’t.
If my teacher wanted to know who I was, she would have to base it on all of my eventual three volumes of 200 page art journals, and her interactions with me in class. All I was willing to give her on that front page was a large eye (which I happen to be proud of because everyone says my eyes have a unique shape) in which there was a distorted image of a silhouette of myself.
The themes of duality, opposition, and perception ended up being the major themes of my art journals and my art work during those years.
I later discovered it wasn’t an original idea, for M.C Escher also decided to draw himself as a reflection, in one of his pieces (in his case, him holding a reflective sphere reflecting a distorted image of himself back to himself).
image copyright M.C. EscherThis led me to believe I wasn’t alone in thinking that when we draw portraits, self-portraits, or write biographies, or auto-biographies, we are merely drawing or writing our distorted perception of ourselves or others. Our perception won’t match up to the perception of others. Our perceptions during a time won’t match up to the perceptions of ourselves during another time. Also, we ourselves change with time.
It is perhaps the reason why the Lucy Grealy of Grealy’s text and the Lucy Grealy of Pachett’s text seems so different. The Grealy Grealy saw in herself wasn’t the Grealy Pachett saw.
In addition to this, the Grealy of Grealy’s text existed during a time before Pachett even knew her. Perhaps she really was a different Grealy. This was also the fear Pachett had which incited her to hurry in the writing of her tribute. She said she feared that as time went by, she would no longer be able to show Grealy as she really seemed to Pachett-- be unable to state the bad parts of her.
It is also the reason Van Gogh appears to be a completely different person in each of his portraits, and then again, a different person in Gauguin’s rendition of him.
How could I state who I was in a single image?-- I thought as I was asked to draw my self-portrait.
I decided I couldn’t.
If my teacher wanted to know who I was, she would have to base it on all of my eventual three volumes of 200 page art journals, and her interactions with me in class. All I was willing to give her on that front page was a large eye (which I happen to be proud of because everyone says my eyes have a unique shape) in which there was a distorted image of a silhouette of myself.
The themes of duality, opposition, and perception ended up being the major themes of my art journals and my art work during those years.
